Rider Profiles

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Tour de Offutt


Velo/Greenstreet ride blazed new trail thru the heart of Offutt AFB

About 30 roadies met at Blue Line downtown on Sunday. A command decision was made to launch towards Offutt AFB in hopes of seeing some flying warbirds and, perchance, to actually pedal into the airshow. It happened!

We pedaled west to Memorial Park, Elmwood Park, scared some commoners as we invaded the Farmer's Market in Aksarben Village. Boogied down the Keystone and pitstopped at Culver's. Then journeyed to Capehart Road, and proceeded unimpeded into Offutt. Led by Colonel Matt O'Donnell and retired Air Forcer Tim Ihry, we stopped for photo right near the airshow. Alas, thunder rumbled so we opted to cruise instead of stay. Pedaled around the runway, hit the cobbles in Bellevue. Soon thereafter the heavens opened and we were nuked. Otherwise, a fantastic day for biking. Join us next week, same bat time, same bat channel. No feeble excuses accepted. El Guapo Supreme.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Hometowned and down: Pig report


Guapo marvels at the Mermaid. An HONOR to be her partner. I'm not worthy to carry her flippers.


El Guapo Supreme deep-fried after 56 mile @ 24.1 MPH grueling TT, the Orbea hanging in the background on the now-infamous rack. Yo quiero Diet Coke!


So, did my 3rd ever triathlon Sunday, the appropriately named Pigman Triathlon. A pig of a race, or rather of the end results. I was part of a fabulous relay team, where I only had to bike, no floundering on the swim and no stumbling run. It was the 1st relay TT for any of us, so we had no idea what we were to do, especially in transition.

My swim partner was the phenomenal Carol O of south Omaha. Nationally ranked, offspring of Poseidon for sure. A Omaha Marian Wall of Famer. Aquawoman!

Jeff M lined up to do the 13.1 run. Yours truly hoping to hammer the 56 mile bike.

The race started off sweet as sugar! Carol starts in the first wave, swimming with the ELITES, and was 4th out of the agua in a mind-boggling 29 minutes. The PA announcer screams "here comes the 1st of the relay teams, Two Men and a Mermaid." I'm dumb-founded, flabber-gasted. She is 4 minutes ahead of schedule. Swims the 1.2 miles in 29 bleeding minutes! Only 3 pro men swim out before her.

She sprints up the hill from the water to T1, gills pulsing, and passes the timing chip to me at T1 and I'm off on the hilly, multi-turn 56 miles journey. I stoke the diesel engine. Wide-open throttle. Bring it up to red-line. 3 pro rabbits in front of me, multitudes of hungry wolves at the door behind me. Think of sustainable power and the Diet Coke reward. The DC motivates me during the tuff spots where the legs are screaming, the demons are wrestling for control of my mind. I'm up against the Pain Wall. Jack visits me. Yells at me. You need me on that wall. Don't quit! I'm going to rip the eyeballs out of your head and puke in your dead skull if you quit. You get the idea.

Big pressure to hold onto the lead over all the other relay teams that Carol gave to me. I planned on doing a 2:25 bike and 23 mph average, but ended up with churning to a 2:19 and 24.1 mph.
Finally, the last killer hill turning into the park. I scale it. Now a fast last 3 miles and my suffering is nearly at an end.
Slid into T2 and gave the chip to Jeff. We are in 6th place at T2, having only been passed by two elite men during my ride.

Time for me to chill. Time to build a cake or something, maybe catch a delicious bass.

The Mermaid and I now anxiously await Jeff's return. We get massaged. We dance. We gloat. We feast on the visions of the spoils that await us. Jeff runs 1:35 and we end up easily as the winners of the Coed Division by 3 minutes, 50 seconds.

But wait! The local USAT referee informs us an hour later that we have been penalized 4 minutes. For what? For hanging your TT bike on the wrong rack in transition, you dumb-*ss rookie. But the volunteer running T2 told me to put it there! I asked her! Tuff luck pal, you should have known the rules. Now drag your toothless, hillbilly *ss back to Husker-tucky where you belong and take your 2nd place trophy with you.

This penalty allows the 2nd place team, from Iowa (conspiracy theorists chime in here, please) to clip us by 10 miserable seconds. Oh, the humanity! I feel miserable, cost my teammates the WIN. Instead, we are the 1st LOSERS. Only positive to take from this is that we kicked everyone's hiney and they KNOW it.

As Rosanne Rosannadanna sez, "just goes to show you, it's always something." Time to funnel the rage, the humiliation into something positive. Like returning for revenge next year, kicking booty and giving that ref a middle-digit salute as we leave with the hardware. Good night now. Harumph!

Saturday, August 06, 2011

Into Thin Air

Climb Every Mountain Click on pic to enlarge

You can tell by the huge smile that Simone is tickled Velo to be on the very top of Trail Ridge Road in Rocky Mountain National Park. She's standing in front to of the Never Summer range of mountains at 12,183 feet, sporting her new Specialized Dulce from Greenstreet Cycles. Not many people do this ride. It is rated "very difficult" by all the ride experts. One must battle the altitude as well as the RVers and Harleys.

Simone, El Guapo Supreme, her cousin Alex and uncle Joe saddled up early Wednesday from the RMNP entrance. It's a steady thumper from 7500 feet up to 12183. A few grumbles were heard, but she sacked up and went for broke. Another feathered feat in her bonnet now, to go along climbing Long's Peak 14255 at age 10.

Is there a Triple Bypass in her future? You heard it here first on the hush-hush and quite QT.