11-11-11: a date that will live in infamy!

So, what were you doing on 11-11-11 at 11:11 AM? Me, I was a mermaid sandwich!


If you read the fine print of my paper, it sez "Celebrating 11-11-11 @ 11:11 AM" Too bad we ended up with the only blind dude in the joint taking our picture with my cell phone. The blurry photo doesn't do justice to Mermaid Carol S on my left, and Mermaid Carol O on my right.

We hooked up at 24 HR Fitness in Ralston for my Extreme Swim Makeover. You know, my swim nickname is Flounder. I earned that moniker during my two triathlons. Bike great, run decent, swim....flounder. Not to mention I can't swim a straight line. I look like a slalom skiier in the water, zig-zagging hither and fro.

Carol O, aka Aquawoman, Dara II, or Flipper, offered to do the makeover. Carol O, she of Marian fame, nationally ranked competitor, certied instructor and molder of clay.

Carol S, winner of a bazillion triathlons, Trek the Towers, Sears Towers and IRONWOMAN herself, waits on the sidelines to provide encouragement and CPR.

So, first order of bizness, sez Carol O, is to see what I've got to start with. Swim an easy 100 meters, please. I plunge in the icy-cold liquid and start my thrash. I couldn't help but notice the other swimmers in the pool immediately vacate the pool lest they be knocked unconscious by my flailing arms. I swim "EZ" back n forth 2x, the oxygen-starved diesel redlining, rip the goggles off and see Carol S trying to revive poor Carol O, who had passed out after witnessing the spectacle. Carol O comes out of her stupor, leaps up and makes a valiant sprint for the exit, but a nice flying tackle by Carol S corrals her before her escape is complete. "Come on, you can fix him, you've seen worse!"

"LIAR!" she retorts. Grudingly, she returns, and accepts the challenge. "Boy, we've got trouble. Right here in River City. Trouble, starts with T and rhymes with P, and stands for Pool. You are a menace in the Pool. However, I'll do it. You will be my crowning achievement!" she tells me.

We get down to Add/Remove Programs. She removes Windows Thrashing. She reinstalls Swim 101 and Drills Basic. I'm rebooted. I learn to glide on my side/back, arm extended, with just my snout out of the drink. Then I add in snout to water and snout back up, I add a stroke to my snout out/snout down move, I flip to the other side, then repeat. I graduate to 3 strokes eventually. At some point, I become self-aware. I begin to THINK. I SWIM! I AM HAL, model 11-11-11@11:11. Makeover commenced, but not complete. Estimated date of prototype release, September 9th, at Ironman Wisconsin, 2012.

And where were you on 11-11-11@11:11 AM?